35 weeks...satan is trying to move in...

Here I am at 35 weeks and I'm starting to feel as nervous as I did in the first trimester. Most of the time my thoughts are centered around the amazing idea that I will be a mommy in a month's time but sometimes those darker thoughts associated with our previous loss creep their way in.

Mainly those thoughts revolve around the idea of something going wrong at the last minute. Cord accidents, low fluid, anything that the world could do to keep me from having this baby. Like everything is too good to be true.

I think these thoughts reflect back on those lighter thoughts of amazement because if it didn't seem so surreal that I was about to have a child, would I be as inclined to worry that it wont happen? Everyday my son assures me he's doing fine. His movement patterns stay the same for the most part (although this didn't keep me from calling the doctor last Friday because he slept an hour longer than usual...of course, right after I called he started jumping around) and his heartbeat is always nice and strong. Plus, he's even head down - so no worries there.

In my heart I know it will be fine, God has blessed us with this little man. He is our "Gift from God" which is the whole reason I love his name so much. (I love names with a great deeper meaning.) Yet, satan creeps in periodically and seems to be gaining a little more ground as I get closer to the end. My current challenge is not to let him and rely on faith to guide me these last few weeks.

My doctor's know what they are doing. I will have constant fetal monitoring...this baby will be perfect and he will grow big and strong. He will look like his father and he will be the son I've always dreamed of.

Mission Impossible

We are on a mission. A mission to find a car seat that will fit properly in the backseat of a 2001 VW Golf.

The Babytrend seat we got with our travel system is too small (as I mentioned a few posts ago) so we did a little research and heard that the Graco Snugride would fit...yeah that was a big lie. Apparently these people who keep saying these seats fit are installing them incorrectly. At least as far as I've been informed.

You aren't supposed to allow the car seat to touch the seats in front, right? If that's wrong and it can touch them, then we don't have a problem...but according to my friend as well as the instruction booklet, the car seat is not supposed to touch the seats in front in an accident...much less all the time.

We're going to head over to BabiesRus after church on Sunday to see if we can find anything. I'm tempted to just spend $200 and get a convertible seat since he'll need one eventually anyway.

Some that say they're "compact" for smaller vehicles:

Britax Diplomat

Britax Roundabout

and my favorite...the Combi Coccoro

Of course the Combi seat is only sold online so there isn't really a way to test it out. I might just buy it from BabiesRus so we can return it to the store if need be...

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

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So it is my first attempt at a Not Me! Monday! post. Since I don't have kiddos quite yet it probably wont be nearly as entertaining...but here we go!

I did not refuse to fill our cats food bowls until they ate what they'd already knocked out onto the floor...I'm not that lazy!

I did not totally forget to RSVP to my best friend's wedding shower...Not me! I'm always on top of things.

I did take a shower yesterday...yup, everyday I'm clean and dressed. I never hang out all day in my pjs.

I'm definitely not wishing this baby would come early despite knowing that it would create major issues with my maternity leave if he does...

And lastly, I did not ignore almost all of my homework this weekend. Nope, not me! I'm way on top of it and spent the entire weekend getting ahead. Right.

bullet points..

- We had our hospital tour today and it made this whole impending labor thing very real.

- I'm only weeks away from checking into labor and delivery.

- I'm excited about my stay at this hospital, it's a nice place.

- Our cat Anubis cracks me up b/c he enjoys "sunning" himself under our desk lamp.

- I'll be 34 weeks on Tuesday so I've decided to slowly start drinking my Red Raspberry Leaf tea. I'm supposed to drink 3-4 cups a day, but since it causes braxton hicks I'm going to wait a few more weeks until I get up to that many.

- We're currently watching Harry Potter 3 which happens to be my favorite of the 7 books.

- I really need to read the sixth book again, after seeing the previews for the movie I'm realizing I don't remember much at all!

- We got a tuition reimbursement check from my work today and it was truly a blessing from God. He provided for us when we needed it most. Thank you Lord!

- Next Saturday is Sarah's bridal shower ... I still need to go shopping for her!

- Had to buy another car seat today, the one that goes w/ our travel system doesn't fit in my car. We've put it in Caleb's and are hoping this new one will fit mine. If not I'll be returning it to Amazon ... wishing we could afford a bigger car!

- Probably had too much caffeine today ... hopefully it'll be okay.

- Played Wii Sports by myself last night b/c I was feeling very lazy ... my arms are sore now.

- I'm excited b/c we may not be putting the baby into daycare ... I wouldn't mind putting him in when he's older (2 or so) but it's been weighing on me that we would have to put him in daycare right away (Not only that aspect, but the $ as well! Daycare is NOT cheap in Chicago). Now it looks like we wont have to!

Reflections @ 33 weeks...

Well, I will be 33 weeks on Tuesday (for some reason the "what to expect" ticker above always puts me ahead by a few days) which means I only have 7 weeks before my due date and 4 weeks before he COULD make an appearence (however unlikely)!

I can't believe how quickly this has gone by. I also can't believe that in a month and half I will have a child. A real, live child that belongs to me. My life will be changed forever in a moment and it still feels so unreal. I hope every parent feels this way. I'm not completely out of it, I am thinking ahead to Christmas and next summer, factoring Nathan in. Knowing that he'll be this old, or that old when we go do this, etc.

However, it just doesn't seem like these are really my last few weeks of true "youth". My last few weeks before my heart is running around outside of my body (I heard having a child explained like this once and I really liked it...I thought it made a lot of sense.) This is my last Fourth of July without children and I just celebrated my last birthday without children. It is such a surreal feeling. I KNOW my life is going to change...I just don't FEEL like my life is going to change...at least I guess that's a way to describe it.

I'm just glad my pregnancy has been fairly pleasent. He's sitting nice and low so I hardly ever have a hard time breathing. I'm still getting decent sleep at night and am just thankful he doesn't kick too hard yet (minus trying to stretch out my side). Thank goodness I haven't had much heartburn (milk does the body good!) since I love eating spicy, heartburn inducing foods...

Another weird thing about when he's born will be not feeling him move anymore. I've gotten so used to the kicks, pokes and rolls over the last 4-5 months that it will be so strange to no longer have him there. I'm extremely excited to see him, but it will be weird.

Anyway, those are my random thoughts for the day. Before I know it he'll be here. Hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July! Happy Fireworks!

more pictures...

Another picture post. I still need to get used to the order in which blogger posts the pictures I upload. I wanted the belly pics first, then the nursery pictures, but I can't move them on Google Chrome. Oh well.

The nursery pictures show the nursery almost complete and then there is the one picture of the crib before it was put together.

As for the belly pictures the first one was taken today at 32 weeks and the full body shot was taken at 30-31 weeks.

picture post

Pictures from the Baby Shower:

My mom, sister and I

We decorated onesies!

The hosts!