Blessings

I guess I just have to admit that I'll never be a good blogger. It's been such a crazy couple months, I haven't really had the energy to devote to blogging anyway.

Classes and work ended quickly. It was hard leaving my job for the last time, I really loved it there. Our move out of Chicago did not go nearly as smoothly as I had hoped.

We had wanted to be out by evening on Tuesday the 21st but didn't actually get out of the Chicagoland area until 5:30 on Wednesday the 22nd. It was about 4pm on Tuesday that we realized we were not going to be able to fit everything into the gigantic 26-foot truck we rented. At that point we had to make some decisions.

We ended up renting a small storage unit near our apartment (as well as a Uhaul van to get stuff there) so we could store what we couldn't fit in the truck. Caleb and his dad are going to head back up sometime in the next couple weeks to go get it all. How do we have all of this stuff? It just amazes me. We left a couch behind too...it could have been even worse!

Finally we got to Bartlesville (at 5am on Thursday) and had a whirlwind of a Christmas. That Sunday we headed out to Colorado to spend a week with my family and just got back on Saturday night.

This week has been filled with job interviews for me. I was able to get three interviews this week so I was already feeling very blessed. I am quite aware of how difficult it is to get interviews in a normal economy, much less the one we're in at the moment.

My first bank interview went well and we'll see sometime next week what happens there. However, my official Library Media Specialist interview went amazing! The principal offered the job to me on the spot. It is for next school year, so I'm hoping to get one of the bank jobs in the mean time but I can't tell you how excited I am!

On the downside, it is in Oklahoma City which is about 2 to 3 hours away from Caleb's parents. Not an awful distance, but we were hoping to be closer. I am also a little wary of why no one else seems to have wanted this position. I don't know if it just has to do with the school being in a low income area or because it's in OKC Public Schools? I really don't know, but I can't pass up a job offer as a SLMS. It's a full time position, I don't have to travel and while it might not be absolutely ideal (I have no idea that it won't be, but if it isn't) yet I have to take it.

Caleb's cousin & wife live close by and it will be great being near them. I do plan on continuing my job search just to be safe as well as to take advantage of any positions that might be a little closer to the Tulsa area - but overall we're feeling incredibly blessed at the moment. I really feel moving back was the right decision.

Wow...

Not really sure what my excuse is this time, I guess I've just been wasting my free time doing other things besides blogging. I certainly haven't been doing anything super important. Things have been going along normally here. Work, Class, etc.

I have managed to pack a little more but I there is still so much to do. Right now I'm mainly concerned with Caleb's stuff. I'm not so sure it's going to be packed in time. Despite being home w/ Nathan all day he tends to not be the most motivated when it comes to things he doesn't enjoy. Packing ranks high on that list.

I guess I should plan my posts out a little better. My mind is blank and I know I have more to say. It seems so daunting though this evening. I'm tired and I just want to read my book. I guess I'll be wrapping it up here. Wish I could pull it together and write something worth reading!

Guess what? 31 days left...where did the time go?

57 days...

I guess I'll never be a "real" blogger. I hardly ever get into a groove and post every day. It's been a while, as usual.

Since my last post Nathan's walking has really taken off. He took his first step that weekend we were in Michigan and quickly progressed to walking around the room. Now he pretty much walks everywhere unless he wants to get somewhere really quickly, then he crawls. It is amazing to me that our little baby is walking! Where did the time go?

Speaking of where did the time go. We have 57 days left until we leave Chicago. While I'm still incredibly excited and happy to move back, I am starting to miss Chicago already. Now all I really have to do is drive somewhere and that goes away, ;0) but when I think about leaving my job, the city and everyone here, I get a bit sad. I just hope we can come visit every once in a while.

So far I've applied for four jobs and have yet to hear back either way from any of them. I hate looking for a job - it's so frustrating. I do realize it is still pretty early to be looking, but I do like it when places let you know you aren't being considered. It allows me to officially cross them off the list rather than sit around wondering and waiting.

To add to the 57 day countdown, I have so much to do before we move. We are going to have to buy more boxes I think. Although we kept 90% of what we had when we moved across town, it isn't enough to get us all packed before Caleb's parents get here on December 20th. We need to be COMPLETELY packed so we can just load, clean and go.

We also have to get rid of the cats. We can't have them at Caleb's parents and I don't know anyone who wants to foster three cats. Not sure exactly what we're going to do but hopefully I can find someone we know to take them, even if we have to split them up. I feel bad because we've had them since they were kittens and Nathan loves them.

Anyway, I need to go. A little mister keeps trying to steal my glasses right off my face as I type this! I need to create a distraction.

To the one I lost,

Two years ago today I found out you were no longer with me. Two years ago today I experienced the worst day of my life so far. My world came crashing in. Even though I really think I knew it was going to happen, it didn't hurt any less. It wasn't any less of a blow.

I remember sitting in the bathroom after the ultrasound, staring at my feet thinking "This can't be real, this can't be happening".... "This isn't me"... but it was. Over the next few days I went through the physical aspects of my miscarriage, but October 8th, 2008 was the day I really lost you and everything I had been dreaming of. It was the day I lost my innocence. No other pregnancy will ever be carefree for me. I know now that it can happen to anyone. It happened to me.

HOWEVER, my sweet little one...if I had not lost you I would not have your brother with me now. Does that mean you were supposed to leave me? Maybe, maybe because I can't imagine my life without Nathan. Yet, maybe you never did leave. Perhaps you came back and are actually asleep in your room right now. Maybe God gave you back to me. Maybe you are Nathaniel Louis. I won't know until I leave this earth I guess.

Either way, you will always be a part of who I am. Every year I will take time to stop and remember you - the one I lost. 

Michigan

A while ago Caleb and I decided that we were actually going to go on a fall weekend this year. We had decided we wanted to do this before our plans turned upside down and found out we were moving back to Oklahoma this year, but since that decision we realized we really HAD to do it this year, or else it was never going to happen.  So about a month ago we made the hotel reservations and I put my personal day request in at work and despite not having very much cash, we did it.

So this weekend we're in Traverse City, Michigan enjoying the fall. We are here until tomorrow morning and we really haven't done a ton, but we've driven around to enjoy the fall foliage and had a couple meals at local restaurants ... making it a nice little trip.

I will say that we had pretty bad luck as far as which hotel room we got. The people next door to us are AWESOME...and I say that with all of the sarcasm I can muster. I knew the walls were thin yesterday evening when the kids started shouting about something, but I tried to ignore it and we left for dinner shortly after. When we returned all was quiet. I foolishly hoped they were already in bed. Oh no, they came storming in at 2:45 in the morning. With 4 or so little kids. What they were doing out with children until 3 in the morning, I have no idea but they were loud and obnoxious for 30 or 40 minutes. We didn't complain to the front desk or anything because now that we have a child I know that you have to be a bit lenient but these parents were horrible. I'm chalking up the situation to a lesson in what NOT to do if I ever have all of my children up late in a hotel room. The lady kept yelling at them to get in bed, but never once did she tell them why they needed to be quiet or anything. Also, anytime the kids seemed to actually be settling down, the adults would start talking or the other family members from another room stopped by. It was absolutely ridiculous. Not to mention incredibly rude. Then this afternoon we get back from lunch to rest and we suddenly smell cigarette smoke. This is a smoke free hotel and I could tell it was coming from their room. This time I did tell the front desk because our room wreaked.

Anyway, we're having fun...minus the annoying hotel neighbors. Here are some pics:

13mo. , laundry & boxes...

Today started with Nathan standing on his own! We started clapping and he just stared at us with a huge grin on his face before sitting back down and clapping for himself. Haha. I love my child! (He's 13mos. old today by the way)

Most of our day was spent doing a lot of random little things around the house. Caleb had to work so Nathan and I went just hung out. I finished six loads of laundry (well, they are still laying at the foot of our bed, to be put away tomorrow), the cat boxes, thank you notes from Nathan's party and even packed a few boxes. I know we're not moving until mid-December but I figure a head start never hurt anyone. I've started with things that I know we wont need over the next three months. All of my books, pictures, trinkets are things that I can live without for a while so away they go!

Our goal is to be COMPLETELY packed by the 21st...no last minute packing this time around. Just load the truck & clean. That will take long enough as it is, we don't need the added stress of packing onto that. I figure we'll pack suitcases two weeks ahead of time and live out of those so we can pack everything else. Just pretend we're on vacation.

I know I mentioned it in my post when I announced our move, but I am so ready to get back to Oklahoma. It's funny, I never thought I would want to live there long. I thought, maybe one day when I retire, but I definitely wanted to live somewhere else. Now though, I miss it ... I miss it a lot. I think the only other place I would want to live is Colorado, which I miss just as much. However, it costs a lot to live in Colorado. We can get so much more for our money in Oklahoma.

Ahhh! I know these next three months will fly by, but right now it can't get here quick enough.

Remembering...

Nine years ago today I was sitting in my play production class as my favorite teacher tried to explain to a bunch of teenagers that our whole world had just changed drastically.

A period later I sat in my eleventh grade english class and watched the towers fall on a spare TV that they'd managed to find and wheel into the room.

I didn't know anyone there at the towers, but found out that my best friend's aunt who worked in the pentagon at the time had gone out to get something in her car...just as the plane flew overhead and crashed into the pentagon. That is probably the closest person I know who was directly affected by this tragedy...but of course it was also an event that affected the world. Whether or not you knew an individual who was there.

It's hard to believe that it has been nine years and next year will mark the 10th anniversary of it all. Wow.