13mo. , laundry & boxes...

Today started with Nathan standing on his own! We started clapping and he just stared at us with a huge grin on his face before sitting back down and clapping for himself. Haha. I love my child! (He's 13mos. old today by the way)

Most of our day was spent doing a lot of random little things around the house. Caleb had to work so Nathan and I went just hung out. I finished six loads of laundry (well, they are still laying at the foot of our bed, to be put away tomorrow), the cat boxes, thank you notes from Nathan's party and even packed a few boxes. I know we're not moving until mid-December but I figure a head start never hurt anyone. I've started with things that I know we wont need over the next three months. All of my books, pictures, trinkets are things that I can live without for a while so away they go!

Our goal is to be COMPLETELY packed by the 21st...no last minute packing this time around. Just load the truck & clean. That will take long enough as it is, we don't need the added stress of packing onto that. I figure we'll pack suitcases two weeks ahead of time and live out of those so we can pack everything else. Just pretend we're on vacation.

I know I mentioned it in my post when I announced our move, but I am so ready to get back to Oklahoma. It's funny, I never thought I would want to live there long. I thought, maybe one day when I retire, but I definitely wanted to live somewhere else. Now though, I miss it ... I miss it a lot. I think the only other place I would want to live is Colorado, which I miss just as much. However, it costs a lot to live in Colorado. We can get so much more for our money in Oklahoma.

Ahhh! I know these next three months will fly by, but right now it can't get here quick enough.

Remembering...

Nine years ago today I was sitting in my play production class as my favorite teacher tried to explain to a bunch of teenagers that our whole world had just changed drastically.

A period later I sat in my eleventh grade english class and watched the towers fall on a spare TV that they'd managed to find and wheel into the room.

I didn't know anyone there at the towers, but found out that my best friend's aunt who worked in the pentagon at the time had gone out to get something in her car...just as the plane flew overhead and crashed into the pentagon. That is probably the closest person I know who was directly affected by this tragedy...but of course it was also an event that affected the world. Whether or not you knew an individual who was there.

It's hard to believe that it has been nine years and next year will mark the 10th anniversary of it all. Wow.

Kick off...

Alright so a lot has been going on here in our little Chicago hideaway the last couple weeks. I've started work again, Nathan had his first birthday party and we have made a very big life decision:

WE'RE MOVING BACK TO OKLAHOMA!

In December that is.  We knew we were going to be moving back to Oklahoma after I got my IL teaching certificate and that I would just transfer the certification once we moved back. The decision to move earlier than that came after a lot of thought over what we were going to do during my student teaching here in Illinois. To complete my 10 weeks of student teaching I would have to take an unpaid leave of absence from my job. Not only that, but I would not be covered by health insurance those entire ten weeks unless we wanted to pay for COBRA. We can't afford that.

So, we discussed a variety of possibilities, including Nathan and Caleb moving down in December while I stay with a friend here in Chicago and get it done. That was not an idea that we wanted to go with. Being away from my 18 month old for 10 weeks? I couldn't do that. It wasn't until Caleb suggested I look into the alternative teaching program in Oklahoma that we started to come to this decision.

I looked it up and it is a very quick process if you have a Master's Degree, and although I'll have to retake two of the tests I already took here in Illinois, I could have my certification quicker than I would my Illinois certificate if we stayed.

That's the basis of our decision. We will be leaving Chicago on the 22nd of December and moving to Bartlesville. Right now we're going to be moving in with Caleb's parents to save money and get situated. Once we both have jobs and get a little money saved up we'll probably move into an apartment until we can afford a house. I'm really hoping the house issue will be something we'll get to look at in the next year or two.

Anyway...as you can see a lot has been happening here with us. A big decision we thought was a year in the future is now only 4 months away. Crazy. I'm very happy to be moving back, I will miss Chicago (well except for driving) but I love Oklahoma and I know this is the best thing for us as a family.

In other news...college football starts today: GO POKES!!

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Nathan, I can't believe how much you've grown. I can't believe that one year ago today I got to meet you for the first time.

You're beautiful and continue to amaze me every day.

Make this week last forever...

This time next week I'll be back at work. While I do enjoy my job, I like being a mommy more. Even though we don't do much around here in the mornings, it is still just awesome to get to stay home and enjoy being with him. Feeding him breakfast, chasing him around the apartment. It's just a wonderful and sad feeling knowing that you are watching such a quick part of his life. When I'm at work I won't even get that.

Something that is really getting to me about going back to work is my schedule. Last year I worked until 4:15. I guess I should be thrilled that I get off that early, but the year before I got off at 3:15 - the year I didn't have a child. The only reason it bothers me so much is because of Nathan's schedule. Even more so this year now that he's going to bed earlier. By the time I will get home from work it will be ten till 5. I'll have to immediately start dinner and then the next hour and half will zip by...at 6:30 it's bath time and by 7pm my little man is in bed. Meaning, that five days out of the week, I'll have two hours (and ten or so minutes) a day with him. How is that fair? How is that possible? I'm starting to cry just thinking about it.

I never wanted to be a working mom. Ever since I was little I wanted to be a SAHM, but life just won't allow that right now and it's killing me. Thankfully I have a job I enjoy, if I didn't it would be so much worse.

Ugh, I have to tell you I'm very close to just saying forget the teaching degree. I'll graduate in December with my masters, we'll move back in Jan. and Caleb can hopefully start working for his uncles. Then, I can get a part-time job at a public or academic library. No more full-time job, no more Chicago... just family. First and foremost.

Cleaning...what's that?

I've never been the best at keeping a clean house. I love it when I am able to, but most of the time I just can't get myself to get up and do it. Every once in a while I'll manage to get moving and get the kitchen mopped and the apartment vacuumed but a lot of the time it's a very surface clean. I don't deep clean very often.

My goal this summer was to deep clean our place. Funny enough, it hasn't happened yet (surprise). Today I did manage to do a large scale cleaning of the floors in the main room (including the kitchen), the bathroom and our bedroom. I find hardwood to be a huge pain despite how nice it looks. I wish I could just vacuum and be done with it.

Anyway, I did manage to get a bit done today. I still want to vacuum the carpets here a in a few, probably after I'm done posting this I'll get to it. I just needed a little bit of a break after all that sweeping and mopping. I also surface cleaned the fridge...which is saying something for me. I'm horrible at getting motivated to clean the fridge, even a surface cleaning.

Well, I don't really know where I was going with this post other than that I am probably the worst at keeping house. I have to confess though that I think my less than spotless house has been key to Nathan not having more than a slight cold all year as well as not having any allergies. I realize the whole allergy thing is still mostly unknown and a bit controversial, but I do personally believe the cat hair tumbleweeds have actually helped him.

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Besides my rare attempt at cleaning, the only thing going on here is us just getting ready for me to go back to work and Nathan turning one. He's still not walking, but I think he will be very soon. If not before his birthday (which is less than two weeks away! GULP) then soon afterward. Two days ago he finally decided he "understood" how to use his little walker thing. It looks like he's pushing a shopping cart around. It's so cute! I've been trying to get him to try it out for weeks now and I'm pretty sure we tried it three days ago and he refused to have anything to do with it. Then, the next day...voila! Silly boy.

Feeling Old

I realize I'm not old ... I'm only 25, but after you have a child you start to realize you aren't really "young" anymore, no matter what age you are.

I don't regret having a child, I'm so so so glad we had Nathan when we did and I'd do it again in a heartbeat, in fact I'd like to have all of our children before I hit 30 - but every once in a while I realize I am no longer "young"...I am a full blown adult.

What has caused me to pause and think about this even more than usual is that I happened upon a picture of myself in my dorm room the day I moved in, my freshman year of college. How is it that that doesn't seem all that long ago? It was in fact, 7 years ago next week...what the heck!? SEVEN years!?

Why does time do that to you? When I was a kid, seven years was an eon, but now that I'm an adult and have had the same "mental awareness" for a while, the years just fly by. It's hard to realize that it has truly been that long because my memories of it are all so intact. As a kid your memories seem to get jumbled.

I've also been feeling old because I don't feel like I'm as pretty as I used to be. Oh yes, pity party for me but I just feel like I constantly look tired. I've always had dark circles under my eyes, but ever since I started working full-time and now adding Nathan and his horrible sleep habits on to my plate, they're so much worse. I feel like I'm never going to look refreshed and beautiful ever again. That is a bit depressing considering I am only 25 ... not 75.

Anyway, that's my pity post for the year. Certainly not an "update on our growing family" as the tag line of my blog suggests, but definitely what has been on my mind the last few days.