Really Wilbur? After everything we've shared?

Swine flu...eek!

Okay so I do feel like the media is blowing it a little bit out of proportion. Take the "Chicago Sun Times" today. The front page talked about the "3 cases" in Rogers Park that closed down an elementary school. If you go on the Center For Disease Control website (cdc.gov/swineflu) you'll find that there still isn't a confirmed case in Illinois. Gotta love the quality of journalism.

I have to admit that I am much more worried about it than I would be if I weren't pregnant. Knowing my immune system is suppressed and that I can't really take any meds, well I'm not too thrilled about working in a high school as well as going to campus for my own classes. It doesn't help that at work we've been sanitizing EVERTHING and today they actually put a wall mounted dispenser of hand sanitizer right outside my office door. I'm always good about washing my hands frequently and I really don't get sick very often, but take my access to massive amounts of hand sanitizer and lysol: add that to my paranoid pregnant mind? You've got a recipe for some major OCD.

Great...the girl next to me just sneezed!

the due date of my first pregnancy...

So today (April 28th) would have been my due date if everything was okay. My doctor changed it to May 15th because I was two weeks behind...but that was obviously because something was wrong...so I guess I have two "EDD due dates" for my last pregnancy.

To tell you the truth I'm not that upset today. More just noting it. I feel a little guilty about that though. Should I be more upset? Really I'm just focused on this little guy inside me currently and the fact that he wouldn't be if things hadn't gone the way they did. Not that I'm thrilled I had a mc, but things happen for a reason and he wouldn't be alive otherwise.

Observations at 23 weeks...

Feeling your baby move is definitely one of the top three feelings in the world. 

It just amazes me every time he really starts jumping around. Some days he doesn't move too much, or else I'm just too busy to catch it, but others (like today) I really start to think he's dancing to some funky music I can't hear. It's amazing. It's times like these that I start to really understand the incredibly difficult decision it would be to put your baby up for adoption...it's so real at this point. Probably, for the first time in my entire pregnancy. 

I also can't even fathom how someone could abort their child this late in the game, after feeling it move? Wow. Early on, sure...pregnancy doesn't seem real at first. Yet, maybe that's why. They are in denial that they even got themselves pregnant and it isn't until the little one starts moving that they face reality. So sad....so hard to think about... Ehh..forget about that topic...I was just letting my mind wander.

In much lighter fair, I can't believe I'm already 23 weeks! So amazing how fast time has gone. Caleb was in shock yesterday when I told him I was entering the sixth month. I feel like I've sailed right through the second trimester. I'll admit the first one couldn't go fast enough. I was so scared of a miscarriage, I just wanted to get to the point where things were a little safer. I do know anything could happen at anytime. That's the biggest problem w/ pregnancy after miscarriage. You've lost your innocence. You CAN lose your baby, it can happen to you -- not just someone you know. 

The funny thing is, someone who hasn't gone through that just thinks you worry too much. It's kind of annoying to be told to stop worrying about something that really could happen. I'm so thankful God gives us peace, because I really don't worry constantly about it (promise!), in fact I'm not stressed or worried now. I'm merely making an observation. I know this little boy of mine will be with us for a long time, but knowing that things can happen and do happen to anyone at anytime, well...I can't say I never worry. 

Love it!

Beautiful weather! Love the warmth...we've been able to open the windows and I'm going to pack the few boxes I have. So nice!

mcdonald's woes...

So I'm sitting here at school (Domincian...not work) and I just need to rant about McDonald's. Now I realize that I shouldn't be surprised by low quality from this place and I would like to make sure it is known that I rarely eat at McDonald's except when I'm taking night classes. I'm too hungry not to eat and the food on campus is cash only, not to mention extremely overpriced. I pray my son forgives me when he gets older and I tell him I ate McDonald's while pregnant w/ him.

Anyway, I went to McDonald's on my way to campus as is my routine. Normally this one that I go to is run very well and I haven't ever had a problem getting what I ordered. So, naturally I don't check what they hand me, it has always been right. Well, not today.

Not only is my coffee black...despite my telling them twice, "1 cream, 2 sugars please!" but the walnut and fruit salad I ordered (and was really looking forward to) has MOLD on it. Yes, mold. I'd take it back, but I'm already here and who really wants to drive all the way back over there to deal w/ this? I sure don't. I guess I can still eat the walnuts.

GRRRR...I should have known something was up when it took them 5 mins. to respond to me at the drive thru.

Here's our boy!

So I had the opportunity to have another ultrasound to check some concerns that turned out to be nothing. The u/s tech however was nice enough to give me another peek at our little one and good news, he's still a boy! 

This time they even gave us a picture to prove it!

new place!

Happy Saturday! 

Just wanted to update on the status of our new place. Originally we were going to have to wait until August to move in, now we get to move in June 1st! Our friends who live there currently, the house they're buying came available faster than they thought so now we get to move early. I'm so excited! It has taken some rearranging, like getting part of our extension on our current place canceled. And, if we can't find a new tenant to start a year-long lease starting June 1st, then we'll have to pay double rent (on this place and then the new place). 

I'm hoping though, we have a friend from college moving up here w/ her roommate and they need a place June 1st. It's a great location so I'm praying they decide to take it. It would work out perfectly if they did. Keep us in your thoughts please, we don't have the money to pay double rent. We'd have to borrow it from our parents and I REALLY don't want to do that. 

I'm just excited to move, I like our current apartment but we're quickly growing out of it. Althought it's two bedrooms, Caleb has his "man" room as the extra bedroom. This new place is 2.5 bedrooms. The baby's room is attached to ours and the extra bedroom is big enough for Caleb to have all of his stuff, the computer AND an extra bed for guests! SOOO perfect. Plus, it has two full bathrooms (the master bath being AMAZING btw) and tons of storage. Storage is something we definitely need. 

Anywho, you can tell I'm excited about it. Now I've just got to wait and make sure I'm not getting fired at the end of this month. This whole "reduction in force" thing isn't technically over until April 28th. If I get bumped by someone I should receive a letter at the end of the month. We don't have to sign our new lease until May, so hopefully it'll work out and if I do get bumped we wont have to worry about getting out of the new lease. I really hope I keep my job though, we want to stay here for now. 

Okay, well have a great weekend!

youtube

So I'm sure many of you have seen this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Now, don't get me wrong I think she's got a fantastic voice, but it isn't anything I haven't heard on Broadway. Doesn't it seem wrong to faun all over this woman? Aren't we doing it simply because of what she looks like? Would the judges have done much more than give her "Yes" votes if she were young and beautiful? Would she be all over the news? I don't really think so. It's almost like they're exploiting her unattractiveness in a way...I dunno, it just bothers me for some reason. I'm glad she was successful on the show, but I feel like it's gotten out of hand.

oh belly!

My latest belly pic! Taken last night at 21 weeks. I had my regular OB appointment today and I am measuring on track. I know I've been showing for a while now, but you can definitely tell I'm pregnant these days. :-)

Hope everyone has a wonderful evening. I've got a lot of reading to do for my Thursday class.

Have a great night!

Rainy days...

I love rainy days. Especially in the spring.

Not too much going on here today, just a tiring day at work. I think I might be getting to the point where I get fatigued after a while. I noticed my lower back starting to hurt a bit as I walked around the library. I wonder if I'll need to get one of those belly support things soon. 

Well, it's a short update today. I'm off to make some dinner and then I've got a lot of reading to do for my class on Thursday. Not sure what I'm making for dinner, but it'll be quick whatever it is!

He is Risen!

HAPPY EASTER!!! 

I hope you all have a wonderful Holy day!

This is off topic, but I had to share:

So I ventured onto Google News this morning looking for info on the murder of that little girl in California and instead I found this:

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Story?id=7315396&page=2

Apparently, a doctor here in Chicago has been exposing newborns to TB w/o knowing it. The worst part? The hospital I'll be delivering at was one of the places on her rounds! It really scared me this morning. I mean, they've caught it and they're monitoring all of the babies, but it's scary hitting so close to home like that. These little guys haven't had their vaccines yet and TB is VERY hard to diagnose. eek.

pictures...

Well, here are our ultrasound pictures from yesterday. I have to admit I kinda like our 12 week pictures better because you can't see all of the baby's bones yet. Seeing all of the bones makes him look like a little skeleton baby! It also looks like the poor guy already has my nose! We were hoping he'd get Caleb's. I guess that Gallatin family (my grandmother's side) nose is just too strong. Oh well...lol. The ultrasound tech didn't give us a copy of the boy shot, but she pointed it out to us and said it was definitely a boy. 

Other than that, I'm having my cervix monitored in a new study they're doing. It's free and my cervix is a little short so they're going to make sure it doesn't get any shorter. Any shorter can point to an increased risk for pre-term labor. I'm thankful to have the opportunity to monitor it. I'd much rather find out I need progesterone, than suddenly go into labor a month from now.

Also, we're growing today it feels like...I'm having some round ligament pain. =) Before I know it he'll be big enough to kick me in the ribs. I'm enjoying my time before that happens! 

Well, not too much to update on now that we know it's a boy. I'm so excited! He's going to be so cute =) 

We're back!

We're back and..... it is....

A BOY!!!!

Friday Wiggle!

Whoo! It's Friday and that means we get to find out what our little one is today! No more "it"! 

So after a week of fretting over whether or not it's a girl, I'm at a happy in between place. If it's a girl, I think I'll be perfectly okay with it. I'm so not into all of the pink frilly clothes they wear, but it will be fun as she gets older to share the things I loved as a kid. All of the books I read, the activities....I just hope that if it is a girl, she likes things like reading, music, and all of that stuff. I'm not sure what I'd do with a girl who likes soccer and is a tom-boy. Lol, look at me, now I'm worried that if I have a girl she'll be too much like a boy! I'm so fickle.

Okay, well I'll definitely update when we have news...I get my haircut at noon and then our appointment is at 3:30 so I wont be updating until 5-ish probably. By the time I get home anyway. 

Enjoy your Friday!

Symptoms

Well, I'm feeling better today. Not that I'm not still worried about everything deep down, but it is not pressing on my every thought and I'm not stressing. 

Right now I just wish this little one would stop jumping on my bladder. I've only recently begun to feel the bladder kicks and I can't say I'm that thrilled. I love feeling it kick outward toward my belly...bouncing on my bladder? Not so much. 

Due to this, I thought I'd touch on the less glamorous symptoms and events of pregnancy...not stressful, awful things...but not the cute belly pics and fun ultrasounds:

-Morning Sickness; I didn't really have it thank goodness. I was nauseous, but I only threw up 4 times.

-Acne; my face has broken out like crazy. It has started to go back to normal, but it's still worse than before pregnancy

-Greasy Hair; again, an early pregnancy symptom for me. Thank goodness it has evened out again.

-Fatigue; wow you're tired the first trimester. I didn't believe it until I experienced it. Thank the Lord for week 14. That's when I got some energy back.

-Bloody Noses; second trimester and BAM I would get one every day. I think I've found a way to control them (Saline Spray) but I had some of the worst ones of my life this trimester. Think 20 minutes, faucet, none stop. Lovely image, isn't it?

-Hemorrhoids; okay, so I haven't gotten these yet...but who knew you got them during pregnancy? I thought they were reserved for old men. Boy can I wait...

-Gas; hot, I know. I keep joking w/ Caleb that it must be a boy. His testosterone is causing me to let one go every 5 seconds. 

-Constipation; along with the gas and the hemorrhoids. Luckily I've only had a few bad days.

-Weight Gain; okay so this one isn't bad, I mean you KNOW you're going to gain weight and I've really been pretty pleased. I haven't gained too much, I've gained about 10 lbs so far. I'll continue to put on about a pound a week now and so far none of the weight is in my face (my biggest fear). 

-Stretch Marks; so far so good....keeping my fingers crossed.

Hmm...I'm sure there are some symptoms I'm leaving out. Most of these applied me this pregnancy and I would say I'm having a pretty easy pregnancy. I feel pretty good. I wonder if I'll be so lucky the next time around...

Exhausted

Wow I'm exhausted. I feel like I've been up for days...I doubt I'll be lasting past 9 tonight. Since hitting the second trimester I've been able to stay up a little later, but I think I wore myself out last night. I had an online session for my Internet class that lasted until 8:30 so I drank some tea to keep myself awake. I didn't get to bed until 11-something. Late when you have to be at work at 7am. 

I'm getting very worried about Friday. I just want it to be here. I want to know whether this little being inside of me is a girl or boy. Honestly, I'm REALLY worried that it's going to be a girl. After being absolutely sure of a boy now, what if I'm wrong? Girls scare me, their attitudes...their manipulative skills...their cliques...the drama...and don't forget the day they turn 13! Oh man, I am so worried about the fighting but what if my little girl is like me in middle school and constantly teased and picked on and just has a horrible time of it? Or worse, what if she's the one doing the teasing? Oh help me...STOP...deep breath...

...I know that whatever God blesses us with is what we're supposed to have and I'll handle it, I'm just scared. Look at me, already failing as a mother. ;) I'm sure this wont be the last time. 

Speaking of failing as a mother, I watched an Oprah on our DVR from yesterday. It was about being a mom and the things no one ever talks about. The things no one ever admits. Like the fact that mom's try so hard to be perfect and every mom judges everyone else, but no one can do it all. All of these moms were unhappy. They loved their children but were incredibly unhappy. Boy, that makes me excited. I pray I don't hate my husband, I pray I don't set ridiculously high standards for myself, standards that there is no way I'll be able to adhere to no matter what I do. Man, I'm excited for this baby, but what did I get myself in to?

I'm only 2o weeks pregnant and I already feel guilty for not only the above mentioned gender preference, but the fact that I have to go back to work. I can't stay at home w/ my 6 week old baby. I get to fork over money I don't have to a daycare to take care of my child...ugh...this sucks...everything is worse at night. 

I'm going to bed. It wont be nearly as bad in the morning.

Monday

My second attempt at being regular about this blogging thing...

Today has been good so far. We only have a four day week this week because of Good Friday. I have to admit that it amazes me that public schools in the Chicago area get off for religious holidays. I love it though, it's refreshing.

Right now I'm just waiting on an assignment from my boss. I've got all my cataloging done this morning as well as my stats that I decided to get a head start on for the end of the year and all the magazines are processed and out on the shelves. Hopefully I'll get a little more to do later, usually I'm bogged down with stuff. I do have to go to homerooms in a few to collect overdue books. That's always fun, running all around the school tracking down students.

In personal news, I'm just excited for Friday...as I mentioned in my last post, we'll be finding out if we're having a girl or boy. I also finally scheduled an appointment to get my haircut. I haven't had a haircut since last June. I'm the worst about that. My hair starts to grow out and I just go with it until I absolutely can't stand it anymore and I cave. I'll be cutting it pretty short again. Probably chin-length...I love short hair.

Okay, well now I'm off to make a sign for a broken USB port on a computer in one of the library classrooms!

20 weeks!

I'm half way there! 20 weeks!

I decided to start this blog as well as my xanga. Maybe I'll move over here completely and jut provide a link on xanga. I attempted this almost two years ago and I never stuck with it. We'll see...

I'm so glad it's Saturday. Once I get offline I'm going to clean this apartment up. It's a mess. Our bedroom especially. I have a lot of papers to file. I always put it off...mainly because I need a real file cabinet, not file boxes that hold hardly anything. I think I'll ask for that as well as a new bed for my birthday. Big but practical things this year...

In awesome news, we'll probably get to move into our new apartment earlier than anticipated! We weren't going to be able to move until August 1st...now it's looking like July 1st...or perhaps even sooner, like mid-June. Now if I can just be sure I wont lose my job..

Here is my most recent belly picture:
18/19 weeks
Okay..well have a fabulous weekend!