God moments ...Blessed Be His Name!

God moments. They never cease to amaze me. I'm so thankful that I've been blessed enough to experience them because they really restore my faith at times when I'm either suffering or just flat out, falling out of my walk with God. Not because I don't think He exists, but because I let life get in the way. My every day routine stops focusing on Him and I pray less and leave Him behind despite His attempts to be with me.

Today at church, I had one of these God moments.

To begin, I have to start back in August of last year. It was this week last year that I found out I was pregnant with our first baby. We weren't trying to get pregnant (I know, I know...how can you not be trying? Trust me, it happens) but I was very excited and the idea soon began to grow on Caleb as well. We were due April 21st.

I set my first appointment with my OB/GYN and couldn't wait to go. Until the day of that is. It was on my way to that appointment that I became irrationally nervous. Something was wrong. I didn't feel right, I know it doesn't make sense ... call it intuition, but, whatever. I knew. That early on, I knew.

We found out that day that I wasn't as far along as we'd thought. I should have been about 8 weeks along but the ultrasound said I was more like 5. That couldn't be right. I was distraught but the doctor said it was no big deal, I'd just ovulated late. So she sent us in for a better quality ultrasound. We found a sac and a heartbeat. I was 6 weeks along. Okay, that MIGHT be right I thought. Yet, as the next two weeks progressed I couldn't shake that feeling.

Sure enough, on October 8th I started to spot and an ultrasound confirmed it. We'd lost the baby. It had passed away about a week prior. I miscarried naturally on Sunday October 12th, 2008. I'll always remember that date. I got through it the best I could. I took time off work just for the physical healing and spent my spare time on the emotional. I clung to God, in a situation that many might turn from Him, I didn't ... mainly because I didn't know what else to do. I'm certainly not special for doing so, I just had nothing else. Almost like I knew if I didn't, I would drown. I give the earthly credit for this to a song. A song you ask? Yes. It has become the song I will always go to in times of need from now on:

Blessed Be Your Name

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

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Anyway, I have had a few God moments involving this song. I would say just hearing the song in the first place would be one. The second, the largest and biggest for me, occurred one Saturday in October, only a few weeks after my miscarriage. I was on my way to my 9am class. As I was driving I started to ask "why" again. I mean who WOULDN'T ask God why? As I rounded a bend in the road the song came on and as I looked up into the sky (don't worry I was still paying attention to the road) I saw something I will never forget. A Rainbow. My rainbow. It meant everything and the world. God sent Noah a rainbow as a promise to never again flood the earth. I truly believe God sent me that rainbow as a promise that I will never again have another miscarriage. That moment will rank up there in God moments for me. I only have one other one that would come close ... but that's another story for another day.

So, finally, back to my God moment from today. As I mentioned in my last post, I'm being induced on Tuesday. A full year from finding out about our first pregnancy, I'm going to give birth to our son. Today at church, can you guess what song we sang - that we've NEVER sung any other Sunday in the year and a half we've attended? You guessed it. Blessed Be Your Name.

Thank you Lord, thank you so very very much.